Flames. Flames, on the side of my face.

I suppose we have to add Oklahoma to the list of states that need to be burned right down to the ground. Sorry, sane people of Oklahoma.

A judge there ruled that a dude who fucked an unconscious woman in the mouth (i.e., raped her) cannot be prosecuted because “[f]orcible sodomy cannot occur where a victim is so intoxicated as to be completely unconscious at the time of the sexual act of oral copulation.” WHAT THE HOLY FUCK OKLAHOMA, THERE IS LITERALLY NO WAY FOR AN UNCONSCIOUS PERSON TO CONSENT TO ANYTHING, HOW IS STICKING YOUR DICK IN A PASSED-OUT WOMAN’S MOUTH NOT AN ACT OF FORCE, I CANNOT STOP YELLING AND EVERYONE SHOULD BE YELLING AT OKLAHOMA RIGHT NOW.

Dear Oklahoma: there is a time for strict construction of legislation, and there is a time for convicting a fuckwit of forcible sodomy when he mouth rapes an unconscious woman. To everything there is a season, and this is the season of me frothing at the mouth with incoherent rage; surely, there is a way to both prosecute this clear act of sexual assault and fix your loophole-ridden laws. Although maybe I can use this ruling as precedent, and avoid an assault rap by┬ábeating this judge with a sock full of nickels while he’s asleep and unable to protest. I do not normally condone violence, but seriously, Oklahoma, you started it.

As ever, any fleeing Oklahomans who believe that women are people are welcome in New Jersey (I know I don’t actually live there any more, but I still feel comfortable extending the invitation).

23 Comments

  1. See…Oklahoma has the same loophole for spousal rape. If the victim is drugged first, charges cannot be brought against the attacker- near as I can tell, this is the only crime that ceases to be a crime when the victim is unconscious. The mind boggles.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I read this opinion and thought “Wait, isn’t that a textbook definition of forcible sodomy? Where did this judge get his degree from, Coolie Law?” And then I apologized to Coolie, because I figured even they’d get this right.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Really, Oklahoma? I’m not a lawyer but even can do a better job writting a sane law. Imagine if the victim was personally related that judge, i wonder what the vedict would have been… That is not cool.

    Liked by 1 person

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