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King of States!

King of States!

  • twitting
  • gramming
  • snapping
  • mail me, maybe

I'm Michelle. This is my blog. I write about women and fatness, expound upon semi-coherent thoughts I have in the middle of the night, and offer tough love to those in whom I am disappointed; they are legion.

Tag: Dogs

Goodbye, Dumple

Felix: he never aged, until suddenly he did, and then he was gone. So now there are no more dogs in my house.

Dogs, Grief, Please excuse me while I move to a cave to live separate from all other living beings because it is too hard when they leave

He’s a motivated self-starter with impressive farting skills.

Now that we’ve signed a lease on our new San Francisco apartment (!!!), I can share with you this most … More

Dogs, He also has advanced napping and foot-licking skills, San Francisco

I Have a Dog-Related Concern

Felix the Sheepdog — also known as Dumpledore, Noodlebutt, Gassy McPootsalot, or Felix P. Hoenikker, Attorney at Paw — recently celebrated his 12th birthday, … More

Aging, Dogs, I'm not sure which one is scarier but I'm leaning toward the lifeforce thing

I would like a refund, or at least a store credit.

Dear Canine Oncologist, You were very nice, and spent quite a long time talking with us, which I appreciate. Chester … More

Cancer, Dogs, I'm only getting fish as pets from now on because this is awful

First Degree Poultry Larceny

I was recently giving a presentation to colleagues, during which I noted that one of my dogs once stole a … More

Dogs, Etiquette, They are also dissemblers and corrupters and are not to be trusted.

Fauna of Granada, Living and Dead

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Dogs, Jamon, Octopus, Seafood

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Wot’s all this then?

I’m a professional writer, editor, napper, and dog-snorgler. I like short walks on the beach, long walks in the city, and a cold cherry-lime rickey.

Once I wrote this food blog, and people seemed to like it, and then I worked here and here. Now I’m working on this new thing.

I don't want to say that something darkly but ironically tragic will happen to you if you don't follow me, but it might. I just want to be realistic.

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These posts aren’t old, they’re distinguished.

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