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King of States!

King of States!

  • twitting
  • gramming
  • snapping
  • mail me, maybe

I'm Michelle. This is my blog. I write about women and fatness, expound upon semi-coherent thoughts I have in the middle of the night, and offer tough love to those in whom I am disappointed; they are legion.

Category: Hellhounds

Goodbye, Dumple

Felix: he never aged, until suddenly he did, and then he was gone. So now there are no more dogs in my house.

Dogs, Grief, Please excuse me while I move to a cave to live separate from all other living beings because it is too hard when they leave

He’s a motivated self-starter with impressive farting skills.

Now that we’ve signed a lease on our new San Francisco apartment (!!!), I can share with you this most … More

Dogs, He also has advanced napping and foot-licking skills, San Francisco

I Have a Dog-Related Concern

Felix the Sheepdog — also known as Dumpledore, Noodlebutt, Gassy McPootsalot, or Felix P. Hoenikker, Attorney at Paw — recently celebrated his 12th birthday, … More

Aging, Dogs, I'm not sure which one is scarier but I'm leaning toward the lifeforce thing

I would like a refund, or at least a store credit.

Dear Canine Oncologist, You were very nice, and spent quite a long time talking with us, which I appreciate. Chester … More

Cancer, Dogs, I'm only getting fish as pets from now on because this is awful

First Degree Poultry Larceny

I was recently giving a presentation to colleagues, during which I noted that one of my dogs once stole a … More

Dogs, Etiquette, They are also dissemblers and corrupters and are not to be trusted.

You win… you always do.

It seems that King of States! readers do not visit this blog for insights into the state of tech startup hiring … More

Blogging, The iceberg was really a vampire that wanted to be in a submissive relationships with the hunter all along!

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Wot’s all this then?

I’m a professional writer, editor, napper, and dog-snorgler. I like short walks on the beach, long walks in the city, and a cold cherry-lime rickey.

Once I wrote this food blog, and people seemed to like it, and then I worked here and here. Now I’m working on this new thing.

I don't want to say that something darkly but ironically tragic will happen to you if you don't follow me, but it might. I just want to be realistic.

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These posts aren’t old, they’re distinguished.

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