An Open Letter to the Westin Copley Place Boston

Dear Westin Copley Place Boston,

Your pillow-topped bed was luxurious, your clam chowder delicious, and your employees just on the right side of obsequious.

When I filled out my post-stay survey, I didn’t enter anything into the “What could we have done to improve your stay?” field. Upon further reflection, I would like to suggest that you make large fluffy dogs available to your guests.

I know there are some hotels that loan goldfish to their pet-deprived guests, to which I say: have you ever tried to spoon with a goldfish? I burned through 17 of those suckers before I gave up, and then I had to have the sheets changed in the middle of the night. Not fun.

The specimen to your left, from genus Chester J. Lampwick and Felix P. Hoernicker, are highly experienced snugglers and would be available to fill the role for a modest salary, payable in dried liver treats.

I await your reply.