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King of States!

King of States!

  • twitting
  • gramming
  • snapping
  • mail me, maybe

I'm Michelle. This is my blog. I write about women and fatness, expound upon semi-coherent thoughts I have in the middle of the night, and offer tough love to those in whom I am disappointed; they are legion.

Category: An Open Letter

A List of Things I Have Been Right About Recently

I mean, it’s hard to narrow them down into a manageable list, but these are some highlights.

Blogging, Cockles, Eagles Schmeagales

Here, Dear Abby, I fleshed out that unfinished paragraph for you.

“It appears you and that boy had a severe breakdown in communication, which led to your being sexually assaulted.” Jesus … More

Advice Columns, Rape Culture, TIL that Dear Abby is still a thing and she is a warm smear of awful on a triscuit

Got a second, racist white dudes?

Of course you don’t; not for me. But just in case… I recognize that white dudes generally do not feel … More

Bag of Dicks, Racism, Sexism

Forbes Errata

Dear Forbes, There was an egregious typo in a column you recently published on your website. In the forward-thinking and … More

Forbes, Fraternities, I am a sober woman who is also one of the greatest threats to fraternities

Mockery is the sincerest form of rape prevention.

I was coming online to write a post about something totally-non-dander-raising, but made the mistake of first pausing to read … More

Rape, William Smith, You're so vain I bet you think this march is about you

I am a fat woman. Here’s what you should say when you see me at the gym.

Nothing at all. If you’re tempted to say something to me, close your eyes and pretend you’re looking at a … More

Fitness, Gym, I thought we'd decided as a society that headphones are the universal sign for "leave me the hell alone"

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Wot’s all this then?

I’m a professional writer, editor, napper, and dog-snorgler. I like short walks on the beach, long walks in the city, and a cold cherry-lime rickey.

Once I wrote this food blog, and people seemed to like it, and then I worked here and here. Now I’m working on this new thing.

I don't want to say that something darkly but ironically tragic will happen to you if you don't follow me, but it might. I just want to be realistic.

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These posts aren’t old, they’re distinguished.

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