I Claim Aisle Five in the Name of Italy

In celebration of the holiday dedicated to my fellow Italian Cristoforo Colombo, I’m going to try and go to A&P, get as far as ShopRite, stop there, and insist on referring to all the ShopRite employees as A&P employees. Then I will give them Smallpox and steal all the ice cream.


Say it, don't spray it.

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