If you are writing a sentence that begins, “I’m not a racist…” and the next part of that sentence starts … More
Category: It’s 3AM; I must be lonely.
I am shocked at Buzzfeed’s lax editorial standards.
There’s an article on Buzzfeed at the moment about the improbably-named Benedict Cumberbatch, who appeared in a fashion magazine wearing … More
If anyone tries to stop you, just shove ’em out of the way.
Happy Columbus Day! If you’d like to celebrate with me, meet me tomorrow at the southeast corner of 21st Street … More
It’s like 10,000 spoons, when all you need is a fifth of gin.
TERRIBLE IRONY: By the time you finish paying off your educational debt, you are too old to engage in drunken … More
Dear Three Kids in the Elevator with Me on Wednesday Evening
I’m not sorry I had food poisoning or that I puked in the elevator, because I had no control over either … More
This is even worse than that time we left the cake out in the rain.
What did cake ever do to deserve this? Oh, right, only bring joy, happiness, and chocolate ganache to millions of people … More
King of States! 