Dear Three Kids in the Elevator with Me on Wednesday Evening

I’m not sorry I had food poisoning or that I puked in the elevator, because I had no control over either of those things, but I am sorry you had just come from the pool and were wearing flip-flops.

Good reflexes, though. Glad you thought it was funny.

Dear Mom in the Elevator with Her Three Kids,

I realize that was an unpleasant experience for all of us, but the death glare was not needed. I promise I do not make a habit of lurking in hotel elevators to vomit on small children.


  1. Sorry to hear that your body decided the elevator was the best place to eject the poisonous food you consumed. Happens to the best of them. Though my claims to fame are a highway while driving 100 km/h (I was the passenger and opened the window) and a subsequent gas station (not sure how I had anything left in the first place, but I did).


  2. I usually vomit while driving in cars on winding hilly roads. I get the driver to stop and do my stuff on the side of the road. There is some control. While in your case, there’s no stopping. It had to be evicted and the elevator full of people
    wasn’t a nice place to happen. Sorry to hear that.


  3. That last sentence made me laugh out loud. I had an image in my mind of the sort of person who would lurk in elevators to vomit on small children. And the thought process they would go through when children stepped in about whether they were young enough for the gift of vomit. Still giggling away. Ahhh, I need a holiday.


  4. Can’t help when its coming up,you could hold your hand over your mouth then that would make a bigger mess you got to do what you got to do sorry it happened to you it still is embarrassing blame it on one of the kids…{joking}hope your feeling better..


Say it, don't spray it.

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