“How was Long Island?” “It was picturesque, like a postcard. No one was screaming. There was very little garbage.”
Category: It’s 3AM; I must be lonely.
My other apartment is a Chipotle burrito bowl.
From a Craigslist – Amsterdam apartment listing: “Unfurnished and immediately available very spacious, well laid out and very well maintained … More
Saved by the unicorn blood is more like it.
We can all agree that Mario Lopez is some kind of ageless wizard who exists outside of time, yes? TELL … More
A partial list of things your ungrateful friend might want.
As I was walking home from the gym this afternoon, a pair of women walking just ahead was having an … More
Sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees, possibly because your giant racist head is blocking the view of the forest.
Americans, demand better of your media. Here is an actual thing that an actual person said on television today, in … More
Western religion, as explained by my dog.
(Please note that the dog is significantly cuter than he is smart. Although he cannot actually read, write, or speak, we believe … More
King of States! 