A partial list of things your ungrateful friend might want.

As I was walking home from the gym this afternoon, a pair of women walking just ahead was having an animated, angry conversation. Quoth woman-on-the-left:

“I got her the fucking golf balls; I don’t know what else she wants.”

Which led me to wonder: what more does she want? Some ideas:

  • Matching tees.
  • A personalized set of golf clubs engraved with the phrase, “To thine own self be true.”
  • A basket full of kittens.
  • A nice seafood dinner at a casual but classy non-chain restaurant.
  • Fuzzy socks.
  • A billion dollars.
  • Some goddamn peace and quiet for once in her fucking life; is that so much to ask? Jeez.
  • What she needs.

Your turn: sound off! What else might this person want? If I encounter this woman on the sidewalk again — she was wearing a distinctive winter hat, so I’m confident that I’ll recognize as long as I see her before the spring — I’ll pass along the best suggestions, that this friendship may be mended.


  1. – Oversized novelty check presented by Ryan Seacrest, dollar amount to be determined.
    – Star Trek: The Next Generation DVD collection.
    – Peace in the Middle East.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Baseballs? Bowling balls? Beach balls? Exercise balls? Or maybe just marbles.

    Also, I just noticed the category and now I feel an urge to burst into song.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. -Maybe a little of appreciation.
    -Presence in the ground on the day of tournament.
    -Some more of trust.
    -Not the least, heart full of love…
    I guess its all, one needs, probably, needed by her too 🙂


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