Suddenly the phrasebook makes a lot more sense.

The travel app I downloaded for the trip to Asia I just began offers translations for phrases of questionable utility, … More

I Have Recently Acquired Several Opinions

Two, in fact. I have decided to share them with you, because you seem like right-thinking people. These opinions, on … More

This is a thing I do, where I stand up in front of groups of people and pretend to be … More

This is more like it. You’re finally getting it, internet. ETA: Dammit:

Actual sentence I said during an impromptu 5AM conversation about hats: “You’re really doing a lot of mental gymnastics to … More

Tweet that I posted during a brief interlude of cell service on Monday night, immediately regretted, attempted to delete unsuccessfully, … More