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King of States!

King of States!

  • twitting
  • gramming
  • snapping
  • mail me, maybe

I'm Michelle. This is my blog. I write about women and fatness, expound upon semi-coherent thoughts I have in the middle of the night, and offer tough love to those in whom I am disappointed; they are legion.

Category: I Am a Fucking Genius

Everything I Needed to Know About Essay Structure I Learned from This Crappy Drawing of a Coffee Pot

Maybe writing well isn’t really about writing at all.

Questionable life choices, Sketching, Writing

The Eight-Year Twitch

In which I take several hundred words to communicate “I quit my job;” if only I were a more talented editor.

careers, independent media, pipe wrench

Three Ways to Use My New Favorite Slang Phrase, Lockdown Day 59

When quarantine fully ends, we’re all gonna go batshit crazy and eat FULL CANS OF SOUP.

No YOU spent too much time thinking about soup, Yes you can get two whole blog posts out of one shitty NTY article

Call Me Ishmael

Part of moving to another continent requires violently attacking your nostalgia, because you (read: I) don’t want to pay cash money to ship … More

High School, We don' need no stinking grammar, Writing

Please excuse me, but I need to go get very drunk and engage in shenanigans.

As part of my job doing things on the internet, I take a lot of screenshots of various websites. This … More

Education, Student Loans, Who has two thumbs and isn't under the thumb of Sallie Mae anymore?

Lovely nostalgia, or BLATANT LINK FARM?

Once upon a time, I had another blog that was sort-of-but-not-entirely about food. I was looking for one of my … More

Blogging, Many Feels Much Posting Wow

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Older posts

Wot’s all this then?

I’m a professional writer, editor, napper, and dog-snorgler. I like short walks on the beach, long walks in the city, and a cold cherry-lime rickey.

Once I wrote this food blog, and people seemed to like it, and then I worked here and here. Now I’m working on this new thing.

I don't want to say that something darkly but ironically tragic will happen to you if you don't follow me, but it might. I just want to be realistic.

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These posts aren’t old, they’re distinguished.

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