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King of States!

King of States!

  • twitting
  • gramming
  • snapping
  • mail me, maybe

I'm Michelle. This is my blog. I write about women and fatness, expound upon semi-coherent thoughts I have in the middle of the night, and offer tough love to those in whom I am disappointed; they are legion.

Category: Bright Ideas

Internet, we are missing an opportunity.

Internet, I need your help making some new terminology go viral; it’s really the least you can do after you … More

#freedomnarwhal, hairstyles, man buns, personally i call my messy bun "dolly parton"

If at first you don’t succeed, move back to New Jersey and regroup.

So, remember that time we wanted to move to Italy but it’s a bureaucratic nightmare, so we thought why not … More

AARGH, Amsterdam, new jersey

You had to do ONE THING.

Eleven mentions does not a trending hashtag make. If you’re not going to spread the word, you can all at … More

#freedomnarwhal, I'm not mad I'm just disappointed, No actually I'm pretty mad too

Bye, Buddy. Hope you find your dad.

This is the now-completed Freedom Tower in lower Manhattan. I live just across the river from it. I see it … More

Freedom Tower, If you disagree you're not looking hard enough, Narwhals

I Have Recently Acquired Several Opinions

Two, in fact. I have decided to share them with you, because you seem like right-thinking people. These opinions, on … More

Airplanes, Books, I'd like to smother Ender Wiggin with the decaying corpse of John Galt, That may have been a bit harsh

A Chicken In Every Pot, Covered in Butter

Finishing Butters, brilliant! Because now the door is open for Starting Butters and Halfway Through Butters and all kinds of In-Progress … More

Butter, Paula Deen, Possibly also she is a robot which would explain why she's not dead yet

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Wot’s all this then?

I’m a professional writer, editor, napper, and dog-snorgler. I like short walks on the beach, long walks in the city, and a cold cherry-lime rickey.

Once I wrote this food blog, and people seemed to like it, and then I worked here and here. Now I’m working on this new thing.

I don't want to say that something darkly but ironically tragic will happen to you if you don't follow me, but it might. I just want to be realistic.

Join 20,551 other followers

Sort it out for yourself.

These posts aren’t old, they’re distinguished.

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