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King of States!

King of States!

  • twitting
  • gramming
  • snapping
  • mail me, maybe

I'm Michelle. This is my blog. I write about women and fatness, expound upon semi-coherent thoughts I have in the middle of the night, and offer tough love to those in whom I am disappointed; they are legion.

Category: Bright Ideas

Nobody Is Going to Disney World

Not literally. Someone is always going to Disney World, even during a pandemic. Sigh.

#NotAllJoggers, Let's just be boring, What Would Rich People Do?

Three Ways to Use My New Favorite Slang Phrase, Lockdown Day 59

When quarantine fully ends, we’re all gonna go batshit crazy and eat FULL CANS OF SOUP.

No YOU spent too much time thinking about soup, Yes you can get two whole blog posts out of one shitty NTY article

When the Moon Hits Your Eye Like a Big Pizza Pie, That’s-a Smallpox

Put on your finest caftan and let’s pop some bubbly.

Columbus Day, Meet Me on the Lanai

Thank You For Calling the Federal Department of Ouch, Please Hold

The painful is political.

Aches and Pains, Ouch, Seriously though how the fuck did I sit on a couch wrong

Everything I Need to Know I Learned from a Stoned Metalhead

From the mouths of drunk 24-year-olds come profound truths.

Identity, Quik Check, Sing like only rhinos are listening

Is he related to the Colonel? I love that guy’s chicken.

I am not myself a Bernie Sanders supporter, but I thought of these slogans for him while dozing in the … More

Bernie Sanders, Political Slogans, So Sorry William Blake

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Wot’s all this then?

I’m a professional writer, editor, napper, and dog-snorgler. I like short walks on the beach, long walks in the city, and a cold cherry-lime rickey.

Once I wrote this food blog, and people seemed to like it, and then I worked here and here. Now I’m working on this new thing.

I don't want to say that something darkly but ironically tragic will happen to you if you don't follow me, but it might. I just want to be realistic.

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