I’m Chilly, Could You Hand Me That Asbestos Blanket?

“’In my generation, what these girls are going through was never considered assault,’ Judith said. ‘It was considered, ‘I was stupid and I got embarrassed.’” said the mom of a college dude.

Right? I mean, I remember being a kid and getting a lead-based lollipop as a treat from my dad after an especially productive morning of shooting poor people for sport, and it’s a tragedy that youngsters no longer get to have that kind of character-building experience now the coastal elites have reframed it as “child endangerment” and “first-degree murder.” I’d feel bad, except that the prolonged lead exposure has destroyed my ability to feel emotions.

It’s a sad, sad world where a college junior can’t even take advantage of a few young women without getting dragged in front of a half-assed apologetic university conflict mediation board for 20 minutes. By which I mean Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, moms, you are NOT HELPING. I recommend to you (and everyone else) these two Longreads essays by the most excellent Laurie Penny, “The Horizon of Desire” and “We’re All Mad Here: Weinstein, Women, and the Language of Lunacy,” and not just because I edited them.


  1. What in the actual fuck? Oh, and, ‘”How many times have I told you, you need to keep it zippered,” she said she told him.’ – that certainly sounds like a Mom who truly believes her son is “super respectful” of women. (Can you read my dripping sarcasm in that last statement?)

    Liked by 4 people

  2. “We’re all mad here…” is a brilliant piece and I second that recommendation.

    In fact, Laurie Penny is my go-to when I need to better understand gender politics and cultural grey areas in general. I recommend her book of essays: Bitch Doctrine….

    Liked by 6 people

  3. I can just about guarantee that these mother’s would be saying the exact opposite had their children been the victims of sexual assault. And that’s such an integral part of the problem: the dearth of empathy. There seems to be a culture shift underway, something that makes both happy and hopeful. But then I read statements like these, or I bravely venture into the comments section of that both beautiful and horrible thing known as the internet and I’m back to my permanent state of wild confusion re: the massive disconnect between what is right and what so many people believe. Thanks for the suggested reading!

    Liked by 2 people

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