A SAMFMBMAHFY (Service Announcement Mainly for Me But Maybe Also Helpful For You)

Hey, fat lady!

The thing about self-confidence as relates to your body, and wishing that you had more of it — or any at all — is this: every single day, you go out and engage with a world in which (1) many places are not built to accommodate you, (2) people punish, starve, and mutilate themselves in an effort not to be the kind of person you are, and (3) many of those people are not afraid to let you know what they think of you (i.e., grody).

You know some teenager is going to yell shit at you from a car, or some woman on the bus is going to conspicuously refuse to sit next to you, or some toolbox is going to grab your goddamn stomach, or the arms on the chair of the restaurant where you’re meeting a friend for lunch are going to pinch the crap out of your thighs, or the dude sitting next to you on your flight is going to spend three hours rolling his eyes and jabbing his elbow into you no matter how you try and contort yourself, or, or, or.

And you go out, and take the bus, and go to lunch, and walk around, and get on the plane, and live your life anyway, and, and, and. So if you think you (me) are the one who lacks confidence, I suggest you put the above into your pipe and smoke it. You look out your front door at a pile of shit, and then you go out and deal with it, every fucking day, and you don’t become a hermit on a mountaintop. You are, if I may, a badass.

Let us not conflate the cruelty of others and our wish for that cruelty to stop with a lack of self-worth on our parts. The confidence is already coming from inside the house.

Claiming your fatness: like consciousness raising, but with less looking at your vulva in a mirror!


  1. So if you think you (me) are the one who lacks confidence, I suggest you put the above into your pipe and smoke it.

    Exactly. We don’t tell people who experience other types of discrimination that they just need to have more confidence and it won’t bother them. Why do we say this to people (mostly we say it to women) who experience discriminatory and abusive treatment because of their weight?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Because fat people are culpable for their own discrimination; if we’d just count calories and hop on a treadmill, we wouldn’t be fat. (If you are someone who thinks this: please note: I have literally been regularly playing sports and/or going to the gym since 1992, and am still fat! Imagine.) Oh, and also because people are terrible.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh, and also because people are terrible.

        Yes, because no one who says these things about fat people actually believes that; it’s just casual, unexamined misogyny and classism dressed up as concern trolling. Burn it all down! Also, I’m watching the Sopranos right now (I somehow never did before) and I just keep thinking, imagine an hour long drama about 20 fat women and people actually watching it! The world would end.


      2. You can be fit and fat. Weight is just a number. I’m a personal trainer and tell clients this all the time. I’m not trying to discourage weight loss just not let it become the only driving force in life. PS, I think you are hysterical.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. I am about 166 pounds, 5 feet 2 inches but I get people who try to tear me down/ I just practice affirmations and self talk. I was sitting in the mall the other day saying I AM PRETTY and beautiful. JUSt blocking negativity. I AM GOING TO FOLLOW you and just wanted to share this with you.

      Liked by 1 person

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