Holy crap, it’s Columbus Day again already! It really snuck up on me and forced me into sexual slavery this year.
It’s already late in the day, so I barely have time to infect all these blankets with smallpox, pack them into my saddlebags, ride my bike until I hit a roadblock, and then set up shop handing them out — to say nothing of finishing up the website for my campaign to change the name of wherever I do end up to California.
“Greetings, Californians!” I will say when I de-bike.
“But this is Paramus, New Jersey*,” they will reply.
Aren’t they quaint? They don’t even know!
Man, I love the holidays.
PS; Read this, then make all your friends read it, too.
*I assume I’ll make it about that far before I need to stop for a snack, am lured into an IKEA, or both.
King of States! 
It IS difficult to understand how this is still a thing. I’m just glad is hasn’t morphed into another marketing ploy with decorations and pies and “let’s everybody feel the joy” bullshit concluded with data linked to everyone’s financial health.
I guess it’s sort of a warm-up holiday; like the first frost before the blizzard.
Nice perspective.
Red
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Eh, Halloween serves as a good warm-up holiday, and is useless without being offensive. I think we can safely nix this one.
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Done and done!
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The Oatmeal piece was killer. Perfectly executed visually and writing-wise.
Thank you very much for sharing that.
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Your blog is hilarious. So effortlessly hilarious. It’s refreshing to read a blogger who writes for herself as well as her audience. You don’t compromise your views or settle. I like that.
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