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King of States!

King of States!

  • twitting
  • gramming
  • snapping
  • mail me, maybe

I'm Michelle. This is my blog. I write about women and fatness, expound upon semi-coherent thoughts I have in the middle of the night, and offer tough love to those in whom I am disappointed; they are legion.

Category: Jesus H. Christ

Three Irritants, Lockdown Day 45

I mean, obviously, I have far more than three. But no one has that kind of time, not even during a global quarantine.

I am literally reduced to writing about the weather, Long live the personal essay, Please send help

Political Sanity Check (Spoiler Alert: It’s Not Great!)

Basically the only thing I can say these days is “What the entire shit?”

Donald Trump, Dreams, What the Entire Shit

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan Can Bite Me

“Speaker of the House Paul Ryan has said that he too is frustrated by inaction in Congress, but he refuses … More

Gun Control, I will happily vote for the candidate who wants to repeal the Second Amendment entirely, Politics

Yes, yes, *so* hilarious.

Is this an actual product for sale on Amazon, or just an example of seven words that should never go together? Hilarious … More

Amazon, Gardening, Unnecessarily Sexualized Gnomes is the name of my new K-Pop Zydeco album

More like “50 Shades of Gray For Me to Poop On,” amirite?

I used to write a food blog. It wasn’t too shabby, if I do say so myself, which I do … More

Blogging, Money well spent, PR, Seriously not shitting you

The Internet: IT’S MADE OF PEOPLE

People often toss around the idea that the internet is “not real life,” as though this thing — made by … More

internet, IRL, RC cola and moon pies, what a wonderful time to be alive

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Wot’s all this then?

I’m a professional writer, editor, napper, and dog-snorgler. I like short walks on the beach, long walks in the city, and a cold cherry-lime rickey.

Once I wrote this food blog, and people seemed to like it, and then I worked here and here. Now I’m working on this new thing.

I don't want to say that something darkly but ironically tragic will happen to you if you don't follow me, but it might. I just want to be realistic.

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