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King of States!

King of States!

  • twitting
  • gramming
  • snapping
  • mail me, maybe

I'm Michelle. This is my blog. I write about women and fatness, expound upon semi-coherent thoughts I have in the middle of the night, and offer tough love to those in whom I am disappointed; they are legion.

Tag: Halloween

Candy Corn: What Gives?

Of all the things you could choose to put in your mouth and savor… what horrible thing happened to you, … More

Candy Corn, Halloween, Honestly the only thing worse is a circus peanut

Someone Should Alert Mayor Bloomberg

I ran into a drug store earlier today to procure some flesh-colored* adhesive bandages, new passport photos, and a bottle … More

candy, Chocolate Bars, Halloween, If You Froze It You Could Totally Use It To Bludgeon Intruders

Wot’s all this then?

I’m a professional writer, editor, napper, and dog-snorgler. I like short walks on the beach, long walks in the city, and a cold cherry-lime rickey.

Once I wrote this food blog, and people seemed to like it, and then I worked here and here. Now I’m working on this new thing.

I don't want to say that something darkly but ironically tragic will happen to you if you don't follow me, but it might. I just want to be realistic.

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Sort it out for yourself.

These posts aren’t old, they’re distinguished.

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