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King of States!

King of States!

  • gramming
  • professionaling
  • snapping
  • mail me, maybe

I'm Michelle. This is my blog. I write about women and fatness, expound upon semi-coherent thoughts I have in the middle of the night, and offer tough love to those in whom I am disappointed; they are legion. I was born in New Jersey and live in Italy, the Jersey of Europe.

Three Depressing Phrases That Did Not Originate With Me, Lockdown Day 58

Sigh.

Come for the irritation and craw-stickage, Stay for the penguin videos

Three Irritants, Lockdown Day 45

I mean, obviously, I have far more than three. But no one has that kind of time, not even during a global quarantine.

I am literally reduced to writing about the weather, Long live the personal essay, Please send help

Three Questions, Lockdown Day 39

Breakfast this morning was a tub of iced coffee and an inappropriate quantity of Nutella eaten out of the jar with a spoon, how are y’all doing.

overactive radiator or sore throat?, panic attack or shortness of breath?, these games suck

Three Thoughts, Lockdown Day 37

Kenny Rogers knew it: you gotta know when to fold ’em. Listen to Kenny Rogers.

#dingdong, #heknowswhentowalkaway, #knowswhentorun, covid-19

When the Moon Hits Your Eye Like a Big Pizza Pie, That’s-a Smallpox

Put on your finest caftan and let’s pop some bubbly.

Columbus Day, Meet Me on the Lanai

Thank You For Calling the Federal Department of Ouch, Please Hold

The painful is political.

Aches and Pains, Ouch, Seriously though how the fuck did I sit on a couch wrong

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