Boy, time really files when you’re cutting off the hands of indigenous peoples who refuse to give you all their gold!

Goodness, tomorrow is Columbus Day? Usually I like to plan a really robust celebration, but unfortunately — or perhaps, appropriately —…

Internet, we are missing an opportunity.

Internet, I need your help making some new terminology go viral; it’s really the least you can do after you…

I Have a Dog-Related Concern

Felix the Sheepdog — also known as Dumpledore, Noodlebutt, Gassy McPootsalot, or Felix P. Hoenikker, Attorney at Paw — recently celebrated his 12th birthday,…

A Pale Simulacrum

I was browsing the archives of the inestimable Cheri Lucas Rowlands, and paused on this post of “found poetry” — poems made…

Animals I Would Find More Impressive than Pizza Rat

Big Gulp Weevil Enchilada Vole

Fatty McFat Fat

Which one of these seems like the better choice? Option A: You have a great job, a great relationship, are…