Animals I Would Find More Impressive than Pizza Rat

Big Gulp Weevil

Enchilada Vole

Cassoulet Squirrel

Burger Dove

Ribeye Trout

Filet o’ Fish Extra Value Meal Bunny

Not that I begrudge Pizza Rat his or her due, but surely a New York City rat carrying a slice of pizza is not that much of an anomaly, considering that a Jersey City squirrel once dug up my petunias, put an entire glazed donut in the pot, and replaced the flowers atop it to safeguard its stash.

Let’s have higher standards for our novelty viral animal videos is all I’m saying.


Say it, don't spray it.

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