My brain is even bigger than my ass, and you should get used to both.

People liked me. Of course they liked me. I was giving them exactly what they wanted: a diluted version of myself. I did everything a woman should do to be liked: I apologized profusely for taking up space and trimmed myself back until I was a shell of a human being — an easy pill to swallow.

Good stuff, this. When I think about the hours I once spent with the guys watching porn because I was a “cool girl,” I want to put out mine own eyes with a spoon.

24 Comments

  1. I thank God for my outspoken Mom. She’s an amazing feminist who doesn’t even realize that’s what she is. I used to think she was too aggressive and “in your face”. I am glad she ignored my pleas to be nice and showed what a female leader looked like. The OP’s mom sounded like an amazing woman.

    “Always be nice, but baby, it’s okay if folks don’t like you!” Thank for that, Mama. I get it now.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. ‘Diluted verson,’ that’s cool. I’d not thought about it in that way but it fits just perfectly. Isn’t it something that we have all done at some stage or another? I hate that we feel or felt it necessary, at any point in our life. I’m reminded of an occasion when I was asked if I had been ill. I was confused. I asked what they meant. ‘When you got all those tattoos, were you not yourself?’ Yeah, right. I was the other me, the smarter me, the one that doesn’t answer to your or anyone else. I apologise for not fitting into the socially acceptable category of housewife in a nice house type of shit.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A former male boss of mine told me to stop apologizing. He basically said I should almost NEVER apologize. Makes you look week 🙂 and you know what? He’s right. Of course I do apologize if I have sincerely hurt someone or it’s someone I love/care about, but I have stopped apologizing about every little damn thing.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. So incredibly true. I was just thinking about that recently – how women, and even girls, are spoon-fed this idiotic, asinine and decidedly misogynistic, patriarchal BS to convince us that we have to constantly mold and change ourselves to suit some arbitrary perception of what a woman is supposed to be. You have to be the perfect girlfriend, then the perfect wife, the perfect mother, mother in law, daughter, daughter in law – oh and please have just enough of an opinion not to seem completely insipid, but only if someone actually asks (which is never – so hush and make me some dinner). Sheesh, when will this tyranny end so we can all just stop pretending that we actually like bleeding inside our stilettos or enjoy the welts from compression pants and assorted Spanx et al?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I see other women around me always trying to please people. I hate it because I don’t do that. But sometimes I feel like maybe I should conform and please like everyone else, but this reminds me that I don’t have to. Thanks.

    Like

  6. Reblogged this on thephotopoetblog and commented:
    I see other women around me always trying to please people. I hate it because I don’t do that. But sometimes I feel like maybe I should conform and please like everyone else, but this reminds me that I don’t have to. Thanks.

    Like

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