I’m a lot of fun to hang out with, and so are these 277 other people.
You should join us; we’re hiring.
Tell your friends! Seriously, tell them. Now.
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King of States! 
Are you looking for an assistant semi-colon advocate?
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Possibly an assistant *to* the semicolon advocate.
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A ha! Because the assistant semicolon isn’t wise enough to see the need for advocacy.
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You’re fired.
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I hate to brag, so I won’t. Except to say I can play ‘Born Free’ on a toy piano with my chin.
http://littleittys.wordpress.com/2014/06/13/do-you-know-what-day-this-is/
Thank you.
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