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King of States!

King of States!

  • twitting
  • gramming
  • snapping
  • mail me, maybe

I'm Michelle. This is my blog. I write about women and fatness, expound upon semi-coherent thoughts I have in the middle of the night, and offer tough love to those in whom I am disappointed; they are legion.

Category: It’s 3AM; I must be lonely.

What do we think I meant?

This is the kind of shit you expect at two in the morning, not two in the afternoon.

Angry!, But why?, PLEASE HELP

Nobody Is Going to Disney World

Not literally. Someone is always going to Disney World, even during a pandemic. Sigh.

#NotAllJoggers, Let's just be boring, What Would Rich People Do?

No, YOU have a type, shut up.

The best part of this story might be that I’ve never even seen “Fiddler on the Roof.”

If I were a rich man, It's going to be an Italodisco string quartet

Three Questions, Lockdown Day 39

Breakfast this morning was a tub of iced coffee and an inappropriate quantity of Nutella eaten out of the jar with a spoon, how are y’all doing.

overactive radiator or sore throat?, panic attack or shortness of breath?, these games suck

Three Thoughts, Lockdown Day 37

Kenny Rogers knew it: you gotta know when to fold ’em. Listen to Kenny Rogers.

#dingdong, #heknowswhentowalkaway, #knowswhentorun, covid-19

PSA: It’s Not Just the Brazil Nuts You Have to Look Out For

It’s trying times in the kingdom; don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Children are like tiny drunks, London, Peanuts

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Wot’s all this then?

I’m a professional writer, editor, napper, and dog-snorgler. I like short walks on the beach, long walks in the city, and a cold cherry-lime rickey.

Once I wrote this food blog, and people seemed to like it, and then I worked here and here. Now I’m working on this new thing.

I don't want to say that something darkly but ironically tragic will happen to you if you don't follow me, but it might. I just want to be realistic.

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