Dear Would-be Murderers,
Tonight, I am having dinner at Eleven Madison Park.
Yes, it will be amazing. No, you cannot come.
I don’t want to die tonight, but it I have to, I think dying in my sleep after a meal at Eleven Madison Park would not be a bad way to go.
Thus, if you could guarantee a quick, painless death, tonight would be your best bet for murdering me. Warning: we do have a dog, who can sound a little threatening. However, once he realizes you are a human person, he will instantly become your best friend and will show you where we keep the sharpest kitchen knives.
(Note: this offer not applicable to killer robots from the future.)
Woman Who is a Little Too Excited About Going to Eleven Madison Park