As I was making dinner last night, I heard a commercial for a pregnancy test that promised to give you results as close to the moment of conception as possible; apparently, the ultimate goal is to know the very moment the Hero Sperm breaches the final ovum defense and lands its jet on the X chromosome in front of the “Mission Accomplished” banner.
I’m not sure how that would work absent some kind of invasive technology, perhaps where a turkey doneness-style pop-up device is implanted into the abdomen of all women of childbearing age
Then I wondered how farfetched that idea really was, given the current state of Blastocyst Rights and disregard for women’s bodily autonomy.
And then I thought, “maybe I should Google this.” But I got scared, because there are some things I just don’t want to know.
…and the morning just got better!
I’m definitely Googling that.
Please refrain from sharing your findings.
I’ll do my best.
“Blastocyst rights”–that’s comically but sickeningly accurate. I imagine little Hero Sperm saying something like, “Target acquired. I repeat, target is acquired.”
I’ve been reading a lot of your blog posts today and I have been laughing until my eyes water (although that might actually be my cold) Thank you!