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King of States!

King of States!

  • gramming
  • professionaling
  • snapping
  • mail me, maybe

I'm Michelle. This is my blog. I write about women and fatness, expound upon semi-coherent thoughts I have in the middle of the night, and offer tough love to those in whom I am disappointed; they are legion. I was born in New Jersey and live in Italy, the Jersey of Europe.

Author: Michelle Weber

Professional writer, editor, napper, and dog-snorgler. Knows you are, but what is she?

Suddenly the phrasebook makes a lot more sense.

The travel app I downloaded for the trip to Asia I just began offers translations for phrases of questionable utility, … More

Rash, Travel, Wasn't this the plot of a Claire Danes movie?

Please endorse me for microfiche operation and Dewey Decimal expertise.

I was on LinkedIn the other day; I’m not sure why, other than it’s a thing I’m supposed to use … More

Daguerrotypes, I also churn a mean homemade butter, LinkedIn

We could all learn something from that rabbit.

The tenor of political debate in the US has reached a stunning nadir; if anyone’s wondering what happened to the … More

Abortion, Alice in Wonderland is an important source of valuable life lessons, Texas

I would like a refund, or at least a store credit.

Dear Canine Oncologist, You were very nice, and spent quite a long time talking with us, which I appreciate. Chester … More

Cancer, Dogs, I'm only getting fish as pets from now on because this is awful

To the Housekeeper Taking Care of the Ninth Floor of My Hotel

I bought an apple yesterday, intending to eat it this morning. I like apples cold and crispy, so I left … More

Apples, Hotels, I just get really gung-ho about washing my fruit

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Holy crap, it’s Columbus Day again already! It really snuck up on me and forced me into sexual slavery this … More

Apparently this is still a thing we do, Columbus Day, Holidays

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