The Ten Stages of a Raw Juice Cleanse

  1. Self-Congratulation
  2. Determination
  3. Euphoria
  4. Delusions of Gwyneth Paltrow
  5. Light-Headedness
  6. Unfortunate Gastro-Intestinal Events
  7. Anger
  8. Bargaining
  9. Sadness
  10. Tacos


  1. Hilarious. I have never done a cleanse diet, other than the horror that is preparing for a colonoscopy, and I’m pretty sure I won’t. I am the only person I know who went from the colonoscopy procedure room directly to the ER. Fun times.


Say it, don't spray it.

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