New Jersey, Goings-On

Maybe we don’t want to live in Amsterdam right now, but we’re still hankering for a change. I am therefore pleased to announce that we are opting to go FULL JERSEY, and as of July 1, you are all invited to our huge, awesome loft four blocks from the beach in Asbury Park whenever you would like to visit. Please note that “Born to Run” will be playing on a 24-hour loop, so be prepared for that.

We don’t do things by half-measures in the King of States.

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Goings-On

To the people who took the time to read and say embarrassingly kind things about this post, thank you.

To the people who shared their own stories of struggle and loss: I’m so sorry.

To the people who are worried about themselves or someone they know, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (US and Canada) is at 1-800-273-8255. Use it.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

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Effed-Up Shit, It's 3AM; I must be lonely.

On survival, and enough.

It’s two-thirty in the morning. I’d like to be sleeping. Instead, I’m propped up on a corner of the sofa, bleeding like a stuck pig and trying not to whimper audibly as I wait for this horse-tranquilizing doze of Advil to quell the menstrual cramps that feel like a dozen animated claw hammers trying to escape my uterus from within. I’m tired, and I’m cranky, and it hurts, and this sucks.

But I’m alive.

Connie’s not.

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New Jersey, Stuck in My Craw!, Warning: Strident Feminism Ahead

Erase Me

Last week, my lucky spouse got to take a trip to the local city clerk’s office — jackpot! — to obtain a certified copy of our marriage license because I could not, for the life of me, remember that I’d married him.

Kidding! Of course I remember. We actually needed it for a bet.

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It's 3AM; I must be lonely.

From a Craigslist – Amsterdam apartment listing: “Unfurnished and immediately available very spacious, well laid out and very well maintained double-down house of about 96m², situated in a beautiful location at Kerkstraat in the center between the Utrechtsestraat and the Amstel.”

So, it’s a two-between apartment between two pieces of fried chicken? They’re smoking some good shit over there.

My other apartment is a Chipotle burrito bowl.

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