So, remember that time we wanted to move to Italy but it’s a bureaucratic nightmare, so we thought why not move to Amsterdam in the meantime because hey that seems fun, and then we got rid of our apartment and car and stuff and actually did it, and now we’re in Amsterdam?
To the people who took the time to read and say embarrassingly kind things about this post, thank you.
To the people who shared their own stories of struggle and loss: I’m so sorry.
To the people who are worried about themselves or someone they know, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (US and Canada) is at 1-800-273-8255. Use it.
It’s two-thirty in the morning. I’d like to be sleeping. Instead, I’m propped up on a corner of the sofa, bleeding like a stuck pig and trying not to whimper audibly as I wait for this horse-tranquilizing doze of Advil to quell the menstrual cramps that feel like a dozen animated claw hammers trying to escape my uterus from within. I’m tired, and I’m cranky, and it hurts, and this sucks.
But I’m alive.
“How was Long Island?”
“It was picturesque, like a postcard. No one was screaming. There was very little garbage.”
Part of moving to another continent requires violently attacking your nostalgia, because you (read: I) don’t want to pay cash money to ship a dirty Cabbage Patch Kid with no shoes to another country so it can continue to sit at the bottom of a box in the back of your closet.
Last week, my lucky spouse got to take a trip to the local city clerk’s office — jackpot! — to obtain a certified copy of our marriage license because I could not, for the life of me, remember that I’d married him.
Kidding! Of course I remember. We actually needed it for a bet.
Thank you thank you thank you for the many thoughtful comments on “The Internet: IT’S MADE OF PEOPLE.” I’ve not had time to respond to them all, but I’ve read and considered every single one and I deeply appreciate the feedback. Thank you for taking the time to share your reactions, opinions, and stories. Viva blogging!
From a Craigslist – Amsterdam apartment listing: “Unfurnished and immediately available very spacious, well laid out and very well maintained double-down house of about 96m², situated in a beautiful location at Kerkstraat in the center between the Utrechtsestraat and the Amstel.”
So, it’s a two-between apartment between two pieces of fried chicken? They’re smoking some good shit over there.
King of States! presents: a cautionary tale.
When I got home from the gym this evening, there was a package waiting for me. I thought, “Ah! My new pair of yoga pants* and that orange shirt with the big number ‘5’ on it. Huzzah!” (I think “Huzzah!” a lot.)