Did you know? The patron saint of carneys is also the patron saint of murderers. His name is Saint Julian the … More
Category: It’s 3AM; I must be lonely.
Everyone take a deep breath while I tell you about the best TSA experience I’ve ever had.
Let’s take a break from wishing bodily harm on rapists and rape apologists to consider how fantastic my hair is: … More
How do you like them apples, “Dewey Defeats Truman”?
This is an actual news article with what is, perhaps, the most wonderful headline in the history of media. (No … More
Why can’t you die quietly, like a gentleman?
Have you read Bill Keller’s New York Times column about Lisa Adams, who’s blogging her way through cancer treatment? I … More
Please endorse me for microfiche operation and Dewey Decimal expertise.
I was on LinkedIn the other day; I’m not sure why, other than it’s a thing I’m supposed to use … More
To the Housekeeper Taking Care of the Ninth Floor of My Hotel
I bought an apple yesterday, intending to eat it this morning. I like apples cold and crispy, so I left … More
King of States! 