“I always get asked, ‘Where do you get your confidence?’ I think people are well meaning, but it’s pretty insulting. Because what it means to me is, ‘You, Mindy Kaling, have all the trappings of a very marginalized person. You’re not skinny, you’re not white, you’re a woman. Why on earth would you feel like you’re worth anything?’”
Why do you even feel like it is ok to think this way!
GASP!
kidding kidding =)
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Have we met? You sound strangely familiar…
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I think when people say that sort of thing it’s a compliment. Like, “you’re inspiring. what’s your secret?”
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All the Hoo Ha about Mindy Kaling’s Elle cover at the moment is ridiculous. She looks stunning but all people can do is talk about how it’s in B&W and not full length. Ugh. whingers will always find something to whinge about.
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I’ll gladly whinge about it; I think it’s bullshit.
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But she is not whinging about it. She has come out and said she loves the cover. I don’t feel the need to stand up for her – she’s a strong woman who speaks out as a feminist in her own rights and as a feminist I would feel weird people defending me when I didn’t feel the need to be defended. That’s my thoughts anyway.
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True. And I’m glad she’s happy, and I’m not actually whinging, as there are bigger fish to fry.
That being said, there are a lot of representations of women I find problematic that the women depicted think are a-okay. And I think that, as feminists, it’s totally appropriate to call that out. I’m happy she likes her cover, but sad that she doesn’t perceive the differential from the other three, and I think it’s fine to point that out.
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Agreed – it is noticeably different from the other three, but still stunning. I also agree that there are different things that different women (and feminists) will think are OK and not OK.
The fact that people can and should have a conversation about their agreement or disagreement for me is a positive thing.
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Most people are operating within the pitiable little constraints of what their world tells them should be confidence-conferring traits; looks, income, success, an assortment of Wham-O products. Confidence just shows up ‘unearned’ in some, and that’s real, and inexplicable. The rest is phony. If you have to earn your confidence and self-esteem it’s only on loan. Just return it early, spare yourself some heartache, and spend the rebate on a fashionable hat or an Establishment piercing. Or, like, a Slip N Slide.
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Every time I think I can’t possibly like her more…
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It’s almost as bad as people making sweeping generalizations…
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Who did that? I’m pretty sure “what it means to me,” is not the standard construction of a sweeping generalization.
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Semantics, shemantics. Either way, she’s assuming the worst motives in being “pretty insulted” by the question. I’m one of those people who are in awe of someone who exudes confidence — man, woman, short, round, hirsute. If I were to ask that question, it would be in genuine admiration.
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HOW DARE YOU TAKE UP SPACE.
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I take a strange delight in being very tall, because no matter how fat or thin I am, I take up SPACE and no one can do anything about it.
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Plus, since I’m, y’know, FAT, double whammy.
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Ever notice how the more political and social space women take up, the less physical space they’re expected to take up?
TALL WOMEN 4LYFE.
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People are so impressed from you that they forget what they had to ask; then they try to save themselves and this idiot question pops up! It happened with me too, and I’m a gentleman! 🙂
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Thanks for following peachyteachy! Looking forward to exploring your over-confident blog.
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