Got a second, racist white dudes?

Of course you don’t; not for me. But just in case…

I recognize that white dudes generally do not feel a need to protect me, avenge my honor, or care if I’m sexually assaulted at all; after all, I’m a hairy-legged, unabashed feminist. Shrieking harridans are not high on the damsel-in-distress-o-meter.

(Note: I am not complaining about this.)

On top of that, I have the audacity to be fat (in public!) AKA unfuckable, AKA an object of ridicule and scorn rather that misplaced paternal solicitude. Which means no one would want to rape me anyway, because we all know rape is about sex, not power and domination (wink wink!), so this is really all a moot point.

BUT. In case there is a white dude out there who is concerned about my sexual purity (or choice of mates), I want to be absolutely clear: do not be. I’m not an excuse for you to attack others for stealing me away. I cannot be “taken” from you. I was not yours to begin with, because I am, like you, an autonomous human person and not a thing. Do not dare to use me as the justification for your hateful, violent behavior.

I do not think it’s sweet that you are protective of me. I do not agree that I am somehow different or better than women of color. I do not agree that you are in some way entitled to me. I do not agree that I am an object to be guarded. I do not consent to being your excuse for harming others.

I know, I know: you don’t feel protective of me, because I am an angry fat chick. That’s fine. Re-read this, but use your fertile imagination — I know you have one, since you’ve managed to convince yourselves that white women are looking to you to save them from the predatory black bucks that roam the land abducting us and dragging us back to the ghetto, thus preventing us from making dozens of lily white babies with you — and pretend that Emma Stone is saying it.

Don’t feel that you need to protect me, because I’m sure as hell not protecting you. A person wiser than me once said that the arc of history is long, but bends toward justice. You are on the wrong side of the arc, and white women are not a shield for you. I am not a shield for you.*

(Oh, and while we’re at it, let’s also be clear that non-white, non-male people are not stealing your jobs either. Your White Dude membership card no longer entitles you to a lifetime of unearned employment.)

(Also! You do realize you’re still mostly in charge of shit, right? So maybe unbunch your panties a little, and the next time you think about killing some black folks, take a deep breath and just go enjoy some of the resources and privileges you’ve acquired on the backs of others.)

You want to be a loathsome, racist bag of dicks? Go for it.** But make no mistake: that shit is on YOU.

You are the one who will pay for it, and I will not be standing with you.

Have a nice day.

* Too bad for you, because us fat chicks make really effective shields.

** Or, y’know, fucking don’t.

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PS: Racists do not spring fully formed from the earth; I certainly don’t mean for any of this to suggest that the issue is all about individual racists, and not a history of white supremacy that continues to be reflected in everything from public policies to television shows, and that nurtures each racist bag of dicks. But to consign them to the dustbin of history, we’re gonna have to dismantle each trope that props them up, and this one’s personal.

The personal as political, imagine that!