As I was walking home from the gym this afternoon, a pair of women walking just ahead was having an animated, angry conversation. Quoth woman-on-the-left:
“I got her the fucking golf balls; I don’t know what else she wants.”
Which led me to wonder: what more does she want? Some ideas:
- Matching tees.
- A personalized set of golf clubs engraved with the phrase, “To thine own self be true.”
- A basket full of kittens.
- A nice seafood dinner at a casual but classy non-chain restaurant.
- Fuzzy socks.
- A billion dollars.
- Some goddamn peace and quiet for once in her fucking life; is that so much to ask? Jeez.
- What she needs.
Your turn: sound off! What else might this person want? If I encounter this woman on the sidewalk again — she was wearing a distinctive winter hat, so I’m confident that I’ll recognize as long as I see her before the spring — I’ll pass along the best suggestions, that this friendship may be mended.
King of States! 
– Oversized novelty check presented by Ryan Seacrest, dollar amount to be determined.
– Star Trek: The Next Generation DVD collection.
– Peace in the Middle East.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Please attempt to be at least somewhat realistic. Kthxbai.
LikeLiked by 1 person
– A friend who is non-judgmental.
– Winter to be over.
– Someone to talk to over coffee.
LikeLiked by 3 people
– A little respect when you come home.
– You to want me.
– Lard.
LikeLiked by 6 people
My name is Michelle, and I approve this comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A place closer to the clubhouse.
A puppy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Like that’s going to happen
LikeLike
Everybody settle down.
LikeLike
less amorous golf paraphernalia.
LikeLike
Someone who understands her needs without her having to tell them… and if they’re easy on the eyes then even better
LikeLike
Baseballs? Bowling balls? Beach balls? Exercise balls? Or maybe just marbles.
Also, I just noticed the category and now I feel an urge to burst into song.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A hole in 1, like any golfer would!
LikeLiked by 1 person
-Maybe a little of appreciation.
-Presence in the ground on the day of tournament.
-Some more of trust.
-Not the least, heart full of love…
I guess its all, one needs, probably, needed by her too 🙂
LikeLike
Pool boy. Golf ball retriever boy. Unless boys are not her thing. Then a pool/ ball retriever human of her choosing. Unless she doesn’t like humans. Maybe a robot. A sexy robot.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A gallifreyan ball marker
Pauley Perrette’s autograph
iTunes gift card
LikeLike
A friend who remembers that she only took up golf because of Harold and that Harold’s dead and she’s got a new hobby. Next time, a bag of fake rhinestones to go with her Bedazzler. Harold’s golf equipment sure looks pretty now.
LikeLiked by 3 people
You win at comments.
LikeLike
An unrealistic but hopeful private list!! May yours come true.
LikeLike
It wasn’t an ungrateful friend… It was an ungrateful step-daughter…
LikeLike
I thay, I thay.. I don’t have much of a shplutter to spray what I mean. These poths. Hilariouth.
LikeLike
How about an afternoon at a day spa? A massage? A copy of that one book she has been meaning to read? Tickets to see a play or symphony performance?
LikeLike
how about a good book and a bottle of wine? Although, I liked the fuzzy socks 🙂
LikeLike
– a heavenly massage/facial
– silence
LikeLike
A Pharrell Happy grin and the words, “you win”
LikeLike
Sometimes we don’t know what we want. Maybe to figure out what happened to our life and get on with it.
LikeLike