“I always get asked, ‘Where do you get your confidence?’ I think people are well meaning, but it’s pretty insulting.  Because what it means to me is, ‘You, Mindy Kaling, have all the trappings of a very marginalized person.  You’re not skinny, you’re not white, you’re a woman.  Why on earth would you feel like you’re worth anything?’”


  1. All the Hoo Ha about Mindy Kaling’s Elle cover at the moment is ridiculous. She looks stunning but all people can do is talk about how it’s in B&W and not full length. Ugh. whingers will always find something to whinge about.


      1. But she is not whinging about it. She has come out and said she loves the cover. I don’t feel the need to stand up for her – she’s a strong woman who speaks out as a feminist in her own rights and as a feminist I would feel weird people defending me when I didn’t feel the need to be defended. That’s my thoughts anyway.


        1. True. And I’m glad she’s happy, and I’m not actually whinging, as there are bigger fish to fry.

          That being said, there are a lot of representations of women I find problematic that the women depicted think are a-okay. And I think that, as feminists, it’s totally appropriate to call that out. I’m happy she likes her cover, but sad that she doesn’t perceive the differential from the other three, and I think it’s fine to point that out.


        2. Agreed – it is noticeably different from the other three, but still stunning. I also agree that there are different things that different women (and feminists) will think are OK and not OK.

          The fact that people can and should have a conversation about their agreement or disagreement for me is a positive thing.


  2. Most people are operating within the pitiable little constraints of what their world tells them should be confidence-conferring traits; looks, income, success, an assortment of Wham-O products. Confidence just shows up ‘unearned’ in some, and that’s real, and inexplicable. The rest is phony. If you have to earn your confidence and self-esteem it’s only on loan. Just return it early, spare yourself some heartache, and spend the rebate on a fashionable hat or an Establishment piercing. Or, like, a Slip N Slide.


      1. Semantics, shemantics. Either way, she’s assuming the worst motives in being “pretty insulted” by the question. I’m one of those people who are in awe of someone who exudes confidence — man, woman, short, round, hirsute. If I were to ask that question, it would be in genuine admiration.


  3. People are so impressed from you that they forget what they had to ask; then they try to save themselves and this idiot question pops up! It happened with me too, and I’m a gentleman! 🙂


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