Of all the things you could choose to put in your mouth and savor… what horrible thing happened to you, such that you were driven to think, “Yes, candy corn! That’s what I want to eat!” Especially in a world in which gummi cola bottles exist. Whatever it was, it must have been really bad.
I really want to know. Please, someone explain candy corn, and help me sleep through the night once more.
King of States! 
My kids eat the things by the handful, meanwhile they scoff at the gummi cola bottle, I have no answers for such insanity.
LikeLike
Your own children? I’m so sorry.
LikeLike
I say this every year. I just don’t get it.
LikeLike
im pretty confident that Candy Corn’s method of releasing itself for one-two months a year is the key to it’s success. its more the tradition than actually liking it… except when it comes to my girlfriend, who LOVES candy corn, and i just dont get it… i always forget how much i dislike it until i try it again.. every year… over and over again…
LikeLike
So you’re saying it’s like the McRib of candy, which is not meant to be a flattering comparison.
LikeLike
exactly! perfect analogy
LikeLike
i love it!… till i get sick of eating it .which is usually about 3 handfuls later. ..smh
I agree with stanton prescott it’s because it’s only around 1 – 2 months a year.
LikeLike
Candy corn holds nothin’ on those styrofoam circus peanuts…
LikeLike
Those “peanuts” — they besmirch the name — are building insulation, not food.
LikeLike
I was actually going to add something about circus peanuts…if any candy deserves a WTF post, I really think it’s the circus peanuts.
LikeLike
I agree that the circus peanut is a more WTF-worthy candy, but it does not enjoy nearly the same popularity as the vile candy corn.
LikeLike
As tempting as the cola part is, I can’t get past gummi. It makes me think of slugs.
LikeLike
Totally fair.
LikeLike
There is no explanation! Candy Corn is, has always been, and will continue to be crap! Yellow and Orange don’t go together–never have, never will, not even in the 60s! Somehow every sentence calls for an “!”.
LikeLike
It’s not that it’s good, it’s that it’s tradition. See also: turkey, fruit cake, Peeps, and that kind of stale popcorn that comes three “flavors” to a giant tub.
LikeLike
Sigh. Tradition is pretty much the worst justification for anything, ever.
Well, except ordering pizza after you put up the Christmas tree. That one’s a winner.
LikeLike
Oh, I agree entirely on both counts. If I ever have a Christmas tree, I will definitely enact that tradition.
LikeLike
Here is the thing, though: Starburst Candy Corn? Is potentially the best candy ever. It’s candy corn shaped, but Starburst flavored!
LikeLike
That’s not really candy corn, then, It’s just candy corn SHAPED. Which is an unfortunate decision, but does not drag a Starburst down to the candy corn level.
LikeLike
But it is also candy corn TEXTURED. Which is really interesting.
LikeLike
Hmm. In that case, it’s a fail.
LikeLike
Fortunately the love of candy corn is not genetic, otherwise you and I would be inhaling them by the bag full. My teeth hurt just thinking about it.
LikeLike
I’ll drink to that.
(Sadly, I think our love of drinking IS genetic.)
LikeLike
I thought it was real corn, but with some sugar treatment or other. O I feel so foolish!
LikeLike
I know one thing. Money Murder & Mystery 30 years ago Helen Brach candy heiress snuffed by handsome gigolo. Kandy Korn Karma. Sleep tight.
LikeLike
Candy Corn is literally made from wax. You are eating wax. Wax.
LikeLike
Just remember “Eat ’em and smile!” ha ha .. (because salt in it) …
LikeLike
It’s true candy corn isn’t the best candy. It’s so bad that crafters have started using them as decoration and vase fillers rather than treats. Another candy I don’t get is the Cadburry Egg… BLEH
LikeLike