“Speaker of the House Paul Ryan has said that he too is frustrated by inaction in Congress, but he refuses to budge on gun control, insisting that the problem goes to a question of mental health.” (The Guardian)
(Or maybe it does, in which case: fuck “strong community management.”)
SxSW canceled a panel on overcoming harassment in gaming because of harassment and threats of violence, because: of course they did. Then, they said this by way of explanation:
Goodness, tomorrow is Columbus Day? Usually I like to plan a really robust celebration, but unfortunately — or perhaps, appropriately — I’ll be traveling tomorrow. I was going to just fly from Newark to Chicago to Salt Lake City placidly, with my fellow knee-squishing, United Snack Box-eating Economy Class denizens, but in honor of the man and the holiday, I think I’ll just stay in Chicago, insist I am already in Salt Lake City, demand an unlimited supply of free cheesy popcorn from the Garrett’s stand in O’Hare, and cut off the ears of the staff there when they refuse. Just like Columbus! Huzzah, exploration.
FYI, this is an actual thing that is possible:
“One morning, after she was awakened by her bedside alarm, she sat up and, she recalled, ‘this fluid came down my face, this greenish liquid’… She had scratched through her skull during the night—and all the way into her brain.”
It’s two-thirty in the morning. I’d like to be sleeping. Instead, I’m propped up on a corner of the sofa, bleeding like a stuck pig and trying not to whimper audibly as I wait for this horse-tranquilizing doze of Advil to quell the menstrual cramps that feel like a dozen animated claw hammers trying to escape my uterus from within. I’m tired, and I’m cranky, and it hurts, and this sucks.
But I’m alive.
King of States! presents: a cautionary tale.
When I got home from the gym this evening, there was a package waiting for me. I thought, “Ah! My new pair of yoga pants* and that orange shirt with the big number ‘5’ on it. Huzzah!” (I think “Huzzah!” a lot.)
My friend-who-I don’t-keep-in-touch-with-as-much-as-I-should Charmaine Chua posted this story on Facebook earlier today. I read it, threw up in my mouth a little, read it again, and threw up a little more.
I asked her if I could share it. At the risk of causing you to throw up in your mouth as well, here it is.
Happy Columbus Day! If you’d like to celebrate with me, meet me tomorrow at the southeast corner of 21st Street and 5th Avenue, 10AM. We’ll pick a direction to walk in, enter the first store we come across, and take whatever the hell we want.
Discovery! So exhilarating.
Proposition: If your male teachers are so distracted by the skinny jeans their students are wearing that they can’t teach, perhaps it is your male teachers who are the problem and not the pants-wearing teenagers.
Discuss amongst yourselves. Also, ew.